Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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