Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Hello my rib-scented angel!
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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