is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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