Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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