I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
