i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
