I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Randomize
