it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Alive.
So much puke
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
