I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
