I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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