i jhust puked up my retainher.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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