oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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