I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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