I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
