3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
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