He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
