Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
