Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
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