I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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