Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
The uberlube is also flammable
be right there i have to get my cape
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Randomize
