Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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