he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
