id be glad to
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
