thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
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