i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
