you guys were way drunker than both of me
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
