with your own penis?
I think my vagina is haunted
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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