How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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