Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I looked at my own cervix.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
