Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
