So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize