office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
