ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
