i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
