he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
