She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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