My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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