I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
