you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
