Sponge bath it is.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
