you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
