please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize