i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I can't put those talents on a resume
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
