Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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