Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
How external is "for external use only"?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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