and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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