I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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