it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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