the new term for farting is butt boxing.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
