the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
