Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
