I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
