did you get engaged???
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
