He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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