I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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