I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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