I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
