It's like God shit irony all over that family
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize