Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
