We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
