Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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