I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
