About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
