Capitaan dildo arrescate!
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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