So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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