Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
