YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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