I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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