You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
